Monday, June 9, 2014


Assessing Your Relationship
The hardest part to a relationship comes at the end when it is over. The beginning is wonderful and full of excitement and freshness. It is very alluring and the goodwill that is created can carry a relationship through hard times. However, newness fades and the relationship stales. Many times when everything else has been tried, thoughts of ending the relationship come into play. How do you know it is time to move on?
Being realistic about your feelings is the first step. You need to assess your wants and needs to see if they have changed. Then look at your partner and assess him or her, as he or she is, and evaluate whether they fit into the grander scheme of your life. While your life should be lived in the present and each day made as special as it can be, it is not wise to ignore what the future may bring. 

If you are being abused, hurt, cheated on, or lied to then chances are the relationship will not survive. If the issue has been brought up repeatedly, and remains unresolved, then your own happiness must become paramount. The connection you have with your partner should never include one of a degrading and insulting nature. 

Think about the future you are creating. Consider the extra burden you are carrying in dealing with your partners' behavior. Is he a shameless flirt? Is she bossy and demanding? Insecurity and lack of confidence can lead to problems down the road. Relationships are not about control and manipulation. When those factors enter into the relationship, and cannot be removed, it is time to end it.

Do you truly enjoy each other's company? Do you find yourself relieved whenever you part company? If a sense of relief occurs within you at your partners leaving, then this is a large sign that should not be ignored. Relationships need communication and closeness to survive. If you're finding yourself wishing your partner were gone more than you wish they were there, the end is near.


Evaluate your role in maintaining the relationship. Relationships are a two-way street. Each person has to be involved in giving and taking. When one person takes more and does not reciprocate, the relationship begins to wane. Equal participation and reciprocation in a relationship is imperative to its survival.

Does your partner show by actions that you are still important? As they say, actions speak louder than words. Your partners actions may change over time, but the attentiveness in their actions should not change. If your partner continually forgets to call, or ignores your calls, you have to ask yourself if this is acceptable to you. If not, then decisions will need to be made.

Do you feel accepted and appreciated? What can really be said in response to this question? If you are not feeling appreciated and you have discussed it with your partner and nothing changes, Move On.

Each person has to assess why he or she is in the relationship and how much mistreatment he is willing to accept in that relationship. Eventually, continued neglect between partners will result in hard feelings and a hurtful end to the relationship. Keep in mind that this assessment should be made after one feels they have made all the attempts necessary to revive the relationship.

By Greg Wendland

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